the distant sailor.
i met him back in november of two thousand and ten. he was on thanksgiving break. you see, he lives around here but, went to school nearly six hours away. my eyes first met this:
tall
tan
very handsome
yet, shy
strong
lad, at the airport.
naturally i had only talked on the phone with him, this was to be our first meeting. think of it as a blind pre-date that lasted err.. a month or so. lucky enough, we clicked right away. (silent yay!) we saw each other a lot during his break, spending as much time together as we could, until that dreadful day when he had to go back to school. it was then, that i opened the door to: long distance relationships. they suck until one of us visits, then it sucks again, end of story. its a vicious cycle. in the meantime we filled the empty space with skype dates, and late night phone calls. things were good, they really were, i was happy, as happy as you could be without the ability to see your boyfriend whenever you wanted to. now, lets get to where the cracks started to form, for starters: he did not like PDA, for those underdeveloped daters out there, PDA is: public displays of affection. and im not talking about when you see couples on the pier making out, or friends that are a bit too frieendllyy on the couch at your friends party. he didnt even want to hold my hand in public, i wanted that, what girl wouldnt? not to mention- pecks on the lips or cheeks? definitely out of the question. maybe a hug, when no one was around. red flag? you bet. but, i continued to take scraps of his affection, lying to myself saying 'this is ok with me,' when it really wasnt. a guy who ignores your emotional needs is a goner. remember, remember, remember PDA doesnt stand for pretty dang aggravating!
another one was mind games, its hard not to think that a, twenty four year old, attractive guy, who lived in a huge city, went to a predominately male school, that loved to go out and drink, and who didnt have his girlfriend nearby to stay well, faithful, would if fact stay, faithful. but, our minds play tricks on us when our loved one is off doing his or her own thing. you gotta lighten up, dont be blind, but start giving your partner the benefit of the doubt. so thats what i did, until it bit me in the butt. apparently, its ok to justify kissing another girl only if it counts as revenge, because supposedly that girl you smooched was your ex girlfirends best friend. whatever, you idiot.
and it precedes to go downhill from there...
his next move was to break up with me, oh it gets better! through a text. if a guy has to courage to break it off, he also has the ability to use the phone and dial your number, which is already committed to memory. guarantee it. so i cried, and cried, and cried some more, then, after being dragged through about seven months of 'i hope my feelings change about you so we can date again' and 'i know you wanna get back together, i just want to wait so i know its really sincere, on my part' he finally wrote me off, in an email. classy break number two. so we set sail, in different directions.
hes the right guy, just for someone else. i miss him from time to time, we talk sporadically, and see each other maybe once every few months, staying friends is hard and complicated which ill expound on in another post, but, at least i learned i wasnt going to settle for scraps anymore, and id prefer it if my next boyfriend would just kiss, me. so the breakup was hard, they always are, they take time. statistically, they say it takes about half the duration of your relationship to get over that loser you were with, and mend your broken heart. but each case is different, take your time but not too much. because! the person you loved took a good long look you, evaluated your relationship together, and said. 'no thanks, ill try my luck elsewhere' anyone who assess you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears. so chip up, lady! men are cheering for you. they want you back out there with them, too!
